I know all about twins. I am, in fact, knee-deep in twins. That's because not only am I a twin myself, but I am also a mother of twins. Growing up as a twin was interesting, because my twin sister and I looked nothing alike and, therefore, disappointed a lot of people. 

Oddly enough, I did look a lot like my older sister, so she and I would often get comments about being twins from strangers. Our favorite of these was when we were standing on a sidewalk and a man walked by with his wife, pointed at us, and said, "Oh, look, honey! Twins!" He could have been saying, "Oh, look, honey! The Empire State Building!" Or, "Look, honey! The Hoover Dam!" We were an impersonal phenomenon for him.

As a mother of young twins, I am the one who gets all the personal questions and ignorant remarks. But I know that as my kids get older, they will start to get their fair share as well, so, on their behalf - and mine - here is a list of 11 things you shouldn't say to twins.

1. "Were you natural?"

Twins will usually pause before answering this one because they're trying to figure out exactly what the heck you're asking and aren't sure if they should be offended yet. They will then decide that you're an idiot and will hopefully give you an explicit answer involving their parents and a sex act.

2. "Are you guys identical?"

You'd think that the answer to this would be obvious if you have the gift of vision, but you would be surprised. I have been asked if my boy/girl twins are identical, to which I answer, "Yes, except for the penis."

3. "So, can you read each other's thoughts and stuff?"

The person that asks a twin this question probably also believes in ghosts. The best response is for the twin to remain silent, and when the questioner tries again, say, "Shush! You're interrupting us."

4. "Do you feel each other's pain?"

No. Of course not. But if the twin says, "Let's find out. Go punch my brother in the face and report back," do not fall for it.

5. "Wait … but you guys don't look anything alike!"

The word "twin" seems to be synonymous with "identical," when really all it means is "born at the same time." Many twins are fraternal!

6. "Wow …you two really don't look anything alike."

This is usually said to someone whose twin is gorgeous. They know what you're saying, and it doesn't feel good. "You must be the smart one" is a similarly poor choice of words.

7. "Which one was the favorite?"

Is there any answer to this question that doesn't involve dredging up a childhood full of pain and resentment? No. Leave it alone.

8. "Which one are you?"

Not OK, friends. Twins already spend their lives being compared to each other, and identical twins even more so. Give them a break by learning their names and keeping track of who's who, would ya?

9. "It's the twins!"

It may seem unavoidable, but twins hate feeling like they are part of a package and not individuals.

10. "Did you ever play tricks and pretend to be each other?"

This isn't The Parent Trap, folks. I don't know a single pair of twins who has ever pulled this off, but if I could, I would use it to send my twin to my PAP smears.

11. "Your poor mother."

As a twin who is also the mother of twins, I can tell you that the correct response to this comment is, "Yes. You are correct. She is an angel sent from heaven and deserves the respect of multitudes."